“Paramedics and an air ambulance who raced to the scene of a report of a person not breathing in a locked car got the shock of their lives when they arrived,” a press release from the East of England Ambulance Service breathlessly informs us.

What did they find? Presumably, the air ambulance having been marshaled, they could expect to be dealing with a life threatening situation?

On arrival at Milton Road, Harwich, the reality turned out to be somewhat less dramatic.

“Following assessments at the scene, it appears the person in the car was actually a mannequin,” a spokesman for the ambulance service said.

End Game can only speculate as to what “assessments” were required to confirm that it was a mannequin rather than a plasticky-looking human sitting really, really still.

Equally baffling is why the trust sought to draw attention to this colossal waste of public resources but End Game salutes them for it.