Whenever there’s a big policy announcement, End Game always gets deluged with preposterous responses from PRs keen to get a mention on these pages.

This week the honours go to the union Unite, for the superb mixed metaphors contained in its verdict on the government’s response to the Francis inquiry.

Head of health Rachael Maskell said: “While the NHS descends into the mire of privatisation, the health environment has become unsafe, as [Jeremy] Hunt continues to fiddle and dither. He has yet to get to grip with how the so-called ‘health reforms’ are contributing to the patient safety scandal.

“The toxic meltdown of the NHS is caused by cuts and privatisation, and therefore Hunt’s response can’t be used as a sticking plaster to obscure the real nature of the crisis.”

Later, the opprobrium took a turn for the aquatic, as despite calls for the regulation of healthcare staff, Mr Hunt had “ducked this issue with a watered down ‘certificate of care’.”

End Game is surprised nobody got a slap in the teeth.