Blithering shafted
New CFO Simon Shaft delivers a financial bombshell - the NHS Blithering deficit appears to have been wiped out. Has Sir Trevor Longstay made a terrible mistake? Julian Patterson reports
‘You Turn’ service to continue, vow NHS chiefs
Martin Plackard, chief strategy officer at NHS Blithering, has made an important correction after a plan to extend health services for practitioners was initially misunderstood. Julian Patterson has the details
Rating the CQC
In a week of turbulent regulatory news, no one can be bothered to rate the CQC and system inspections prove elusive. Julian Patterson pretends to care.
A plan for all seasons
In a letter to staff at NHS Blithering ICB, Sir Trevor Longstay gives a warm welcome to NHS England’s timely planning guidance, which promises to make planning more comprehensive and productive than ever. As dictated to Julian Patterson
Victoria Atkins: comedy genius
In a rare mea culpa, Julian Patterson acknowledges that he was wrong to make fun of the health and social care secretary. She is more than capable of managing without him
Victoria Atkins’ diary: My big speech
The secretary of state for health and the other thing gives a major speech and narrowly avoids a man in a car park. Julian Patterson reports
Are you a competent NHS leader? Take this test to find out
Who better to judge the ability of leaders than leaders themselves? Julian Patterson test drives the Blithering leadership and competency framework
Integration: the answer to everything
Martin Plackard, NHS Blithering’s director of communications and head of system fruition, has published a comprehensive guide to integrated care. ‘It tells you all you need to know – and more,’ he told Julian Patterson
A positive lack of clarity
Technical problems prevented livestreaming of the latest meeting of the Blithering Integrated Care Board. Fortunately, Julian Patterson was there to capture highlights of the proceedings
We must ‘hire before we fire’ declares ICB
Integrated care boards have been told to cut costs, but these things don’t do themselves. Taking a leaf out of the NHS England playbook, NHS Blithering explains that it is committed to taking on the additional resource needed to drive its rationalisation. By Julian Patterson
Patient heal thyself: an affordable online guide from the NHS
As government policy makes self-care inevitable, Dr David Rummage has teamed up with fellow online professionals to bring you the best health advice the internet has to offer. By HSJ clickbait correspondent Julian Patterson
Are you an improvement warrior?
Are you letting ‘work’ get in the way of meaningful improvement? Bev Heaver shares her tips for aspiring values-based leaders and chief storytellers
One minute to midnight in the ICB boardroom
With NHS Blithering ICB under imminent threat of attack by NHS England, Sir Trevor Longstay could go off at any moment. In a rare display of unity, the executive team works together to defuse the situation. Julian Patterson reports from the scene
Going beyond the achievable
It’s no coincidence that as A&E targets have got softer, performance has got worse. NHS England has a foolproof plan to turn things round, writes Julian Patterson
The 'two minute' NHSE director and other stories from 2024
It’s that time when all newspapers fill space with new year predictions. Not to be outdone, Julian Patterson imagines the headlines you can look forward to in the next 12 months
Your Christmas gift problems solved
You’ve worked tirelessly every day until well into the late afternoon on collaboration, integration and improvement-style projects. Your ICB has recognised your commitment by giving you the whole of December off to go Christmas shopping. Before the CEO changes her mind to avert a PR disaster, what are you going ...
Blithering backs Streeting
Welcome to the latest edition of the Blithering ICB newsletter, a round-up of all the latest news from the country’s most challenged health economy.
How to speak manager
If you want to go far in NHS management, don’t make the mistake of confusing plain English words with plain English, writes Julian Patterson
Amanda Pritchard’s diary: Passionate about priorities
This exclusive extract from the NHS chief executive’s diary is brought to you by the letter P (as told to Julian P)
Top ICB boss defends his 'muscular leadership' style
NHS Blithering is rocked to its foundations as allegations of bullying emerge involving veteran leader Sir Trevor Longstay, writes Julian Patterson
NHS Different is 'amazing'
In this blog, first published in the NHS England ICB Bulletin, the newly appointed head of NHS Different, Joy Hunter, traces the organisation’s history and sets out her overarching ambitions
Dealing with troublesome 'facts': lessons from the covid inquiry
As one of the NHS’s pre-eminent communications professionals, Martin Plackard is often asked by colleagues how to deal with challenging and difficult situations. Here he considers what we can learn from the government’s handling of the covid inquiry
The hidden threat posed by fake medics
Real doctors are up in arms as physician associates threaten to replace them on social media, reports Julian Patterson
From conception to ridicule: the journey of an NHSE framework
It’s not enough to rely on common sense, sometimes we need NHS England to explain it to us. Julian Patterson has read the Staff Recognition Framework so you don’t have to
Labour will throw everything but money at the NHS
The shadow health minister Wes Streeting sets out a bold vision of a reformed health service not run by a Conservative government. As told to Julian Patterson
Marking your own homework and other stories
In the latest edition of the Blithering Informant, director of values-based stakeholder communications Martin Plackard brings you the latest news from the country’s most challenged integrated care board
‘We saw him coming’ – US firms praise visionary doctor in big data project
The doctor responsible for a ground-breaking new software project claims it will transform patient care
The sad inevitability of having to regulate useless managers
Sir Trevor Longstay regrets the passing of the old order but acknowledges the need for formal regulation of NHS managers – as long as a suitable leader can be found
NHS to get ‘tough on winter’
The government is determined to crack down on the cost of winter to the NHS. Tougher regulation of cold weather could be the answer, reports Julian Patterson
‘It was as if we didn’t exist’ – shoe family’s harrowing tale
Underfunding and negligence may have been contributory factors as single mother loses family home, reports Julian Patterson
Something must be done! Please tell us what
Determined to show that something must be done in the wake of recent high profile care scandals, NHS England has written a strongly typed letter. Julian Patterson has sneaked a copy from the Wellington House photocopier.
He did it! How Steve Barclay pulled off Health Week
The health secretary bravely battled cancer targets during a triumphant week-long celebration of everything that’s great about Westminster, writes Julian Patterson
'Completely hopeless' ICB reveals radical 'levelling down' strategy
Embattled health system sets up radical new committees with far-reaching remit to help it find its feet. Exclusive interview with Sir Trevor Longstay by Julian Patterson
'We are very sorry' says ICB without a plan
A leading integrated care board has issued a statement explaining how its ‘forward plan’ fell behind and how it intends to aim to make up lost ground. By Martin Plackard (as told to Julian Patterson)
Nobody expects the system inspector
If you admire the Care Quality Commission for its work with NHS provider organisations, prepare to be blown away by its plans for integrated care systems. By CQC interloper Julian Patterson
Top leader vows to increase NHS body count
The health service no longer leads the world in the creation of useless organisations. Sir Trevor Longstay is determined to halt the decline. By Julian Patterson
Mobilising the goalposts for a better NHS
The NHS Blithering ICB is learning to live with complexity, ambiguity and an unconscious top team as it goes on a journey to meaningful change. By Julian Patterson
A masterclass in turning embarrassment into celebration
The NHS has finally produced its ‘first ever’ workforce plan. What ought to be a cause for embarrassment is a source of immense pride. By Julian Patterson
Hello Glastonbury! Sir David’s Spinal Tap moment
He invaded the Pyramid Stage to make the NHS’s 75th birthday celebrations even more special. What a pity no one knew who he was, writes Julian Patterson
The covid inquiry: Surely we’ve suffered enough
Don’t imagine the covid inquiry will mean anyone being ‘held to account’, writes Julian Patterson.