End Game hears that swine flu czar Ian Dalton encountered dangerous farmyard animals of a different kind last week, becoming the latest high profile dog walker to become the unfortunate victim of a herd of cows.

But, while businesses up and down the land worry about how to stop the swine flu pandemic masking an epidemic of skiving, nothing could keep Mr Dalton off work. The Department of Health confirmed that he’d had an accident, but said he was at his desk regardless.