Poland edged it over England on the health front this week. But how? I hear you ask.

In 2007, researchers concluded England was on a par with Poland in terms of poor cancer survival. But Poland leapt ahead on health this week when its health minister Ewa Kopacz was awarded the inaugural excellence award from the European Healthcare Fraud and Corruption Network.

One can easily imagine the jealous glances being turned east among the denizens of Richmond House after missing out on this mighty gong.

Following health secretary Andy Burnham’s announcement on free car parking for inpatients, perhaps he can pin his hopes on receiving a similarly illustrious award from the British Parking Association.