The long standing complaint that the central management of the NHS is no good at talking to ordinary people can finally be banished forever, End Game is thrilled to report.
Someone has invented a learning tool that turns civil servant speak into young person speak.
You type a web address into www.gizoogle.net and it comes out unintelligible in a different way to normal. Warning: it can be a bit sweary. To be honest we’re not really sure how it works – we think there might just be lots of unemployed fast-typing “digital native” graduates who are doing it for a pittance on some sort of internship.
Thanks to the innovation, young people can now learn: “Da NHS Commissionin Board (NHS CB), skits a key role up in tha Posse’s vision ta modernise tha game steez wit tha key aim of securin tha dopest possible game outcomes fo’ patients by prioritisin dem up in every last muthaf***in decision it makes.”
Splendid. Meanwhile, Monitor’s site informs us: “Our thugged-out asses [promote tha interestz of playas] by promotin tha provision of game care skillz which is effective, efficient n’ economic, n’ which maintains or improves tha qualitizzle of skillz.”
Having never been on the receiving end of a Monitor visit, End Game wouldn’t know whether or not “thugged-out” is an accurate description, but rather suspects it might be.
Anyway, we’re sure the board’s optimist in chief and digital yogi Tim Kelsey is delighted, if kicking himself that it wasn’t his idea. Assuming that it wasn’t.