End Game was saddened – well, ruddy gutted if we’re honest – to learn of the departure of Anna Soubry from our lives.
After just a year of saying whatever came into her head about public health, prime minister David Cameron was so impressed that he moved her to the even more sensitive defence beat.
One Department of Health source thinks she will be just fine, imagining Ms Soubry enjoying photocalls in which she is surrounded by “hunky sailors and soldiers”.
End Game believes her replacement, Jane Ellison, might be ushering in a new, more Carry-On style of government.
Her first photocall, on a construction site, was to launch something called the “Responsibility Deal Construction Pledge”. So far, so deadly dull. But in an astonishing display of public relations virtuosity, the anti-obesity public health message ended up being far more eye-catching.
“BRITAIN’S BEEFY BUILDERS SAY BYE BYE TO BARING BOTTOMS”, the press release began, before working itself into a lather over how builders all over the country are transforming themselves into “hands-on well-oiled machines”.
End Game looks forward to seeing what other innocuous policies she can make sound really, really rude.