End Game firmly believes that just because primary care trusts were bloodily sacrificed on the altar of clinical commissioning that doesn’t mean they should be forgotten.

So we put in a Freedom of Information request to the Department of Health asking how PCTs performed on their final year of quality, innovation productivity and prevention savings. QIPP has always been centrally reported, so we thought the department would probably have a fairly good idea of how they got on.

Nope!

The DH helpfully explained that PCTs reported on QIPP to (now defunct) strategic health authorities.

“The department does now hold some SHA legacy information and the PCT cluster reports may be held within those legacy files”, came the response.

So the DH wasn’t sufficiently interested in QIPP performance to gather the PCT reports into one place where they could be easily referred to. It was, however, sure enough of the programme’s success to attribute savings worth £5bn to it in its annual report and accounts.

End Game imagines the information is sealed in a wooden box at the back of an enormous warehouse like at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.