The government’s Care Bill “will give people peace of mind in hospital, care homes and their own homes”, trumpets the headline of a recent Department of Health press release.

Excellent. End Game is all in favour of peace of mind. How are ministers going to impart it to the nation?

Helpfully, a sub-headline elaborates: “Swift action following Francis report and epic changes to care laws”.

End Game is reliably informed that “epic” is young person speak for “good” and, on occasion, “large”. But we’re also sure that they don’t employ a bunch of 14 year olds in the press office, so will take the phrase at face value.

So what would constitute “epic changes” to care laws? Are we talking about grandiose vistas, items of clothing with magical properties, and armies of orcs?

Or does the DH just mean that the process of enacting these changes is going to a very, very long time?