You can’t beat a good annual general meeting, can you? Well maybe you can, with just about anything: walking on glass, needles under the fingernails, back to back episodes of Big Brother, a detailed discussion on the board assurance framework…

They’re not what they were. Gone are the days of a gentle gathering of two members of the League of Friends, a student doing a BA in public sector management and the vice chair of the community health council or local improvement network, or whatever it was called that week.

Sod infection control - next year she can even wear a frilly hat

These days, it’s hordes and hordes of members hoovering up buns and biccies like GPs at a drug company lunch. And what’s more, they’ve got leadership, with their elected governors giving us earache about the lack of progress on last year’s demands for a new multistorey car park and the reversal of the decision made in 1974 to relocate the burns unit 14.7 miles up the motorway.

To be fair, we didn’t exactly help ourselves. I know it’s difficult to make accounts sound interesting, but the decision of the finance director to focus on the salaries and pension entitlements of the executive team did put us rather on the back foot. The chairman allowing a 25 minute soliloquy from the floor on the benefits of drinking your own urine did little to rescue the situation, any more than Bunty Fotherington’s reverie on the joys and benefits of a good maggot down your plastercast. We can count ourselves lucky that the sole representative from the Kaleidoscopic Rainbow of Alternative Practitioners slept through the whole thing or we’d probably still be there.

But three cheers for the cavalry in the form of the director of nursing in full regalia. Fashion may come and go but you can’t beat a nurse in uniform going all guns blazing about a bit of good old care and common sense. I’m with her all the way.

Sod infection control - next year she can even wear a frilly hat. We all will, the director of estates included: he could do with showing a bit more of his feminine side.