Cally Bann on fiddling expenses

It may not be swimming pool maintenance or horse manure for the gallops, but it sure ain’t second class bus tickets either. Interesting chat pencilled in with Sir Seymour this afternoon to go through the non-executive director pickings. The chair of the audit committee’s claim for £4.75 for a slide rule and matching abacus is by far the most worrying, with his claim for £267 for dry cleaning following a tour of the microbiology labs a close second.

The director of nursing is not exactly helping with her £1,750 claim for sherry to celebrate International Nurses Day, although it does go some way to explaining the buoyant mood at the matrons’ afternoon tea party. The largesse of the pharma industry appears to have kept the medical director on the side of the righteous, £6.60 for a stapler aside, and at least the director of estates is focusing on large scale fraud and corruption rather then demeaning himself by fiddling his expenses. Which reminds me: must follow up the counter-fraud report on why the same building contractor got the past 17 jobs, invariably quoting within £50 of the pre-tender estimate.

All of which is mere bagatelle compared with the HR director’s claim for £645 for “team building expenses” accompanied by a stained receipt from a place called the Rose and Crown. I may be wrong, but I’ve a sneaking suspicion that this is neither the purveyor of flowers nor tiaras, but rather a watering hole heavily frequented by spotty-faced cub reporters from the Battersley Evening Bugle.

Looks like it’s a time to be doing and a time to be seen to be doing. A time for a public execution, a time to encourage les autres. Bring forth the Speaker of the trust. Bring forth the corporate conscience. I always knew that appointing a company secretary would turn out to be good move.