Cally Bann: putting the record straight

I too have become a victim of misinterpretation, misinformation and misrepresentation, and it’s time to put the record straight.

• In the heated debate over the price hike in the staff restaurant I did not say that that the priority for each service and department was to maintain an EBITDA margin of 6 per cent and that no expectation would be made for the tuna and cucumber rolls. Although I wish I had.
• I did not say that the government isn’t listening. There’s no need to: everybody else is saying it for me. And anyway, it wouldn’t listen if I did. Or something like that.
• I did not say that the chances of pulling off the sector plans for the centralisation of pathology were akin to the chances of achieving lasting peace in the Balkans. For I am no optimist. I said it was akin to the chances of England playing entertaining rugby.
• I did not say that Shelford Group was self-serving and elitist. I said that it was like and upmarket version of the Bullingdon Club.
• I was misquoted in my suggestion that the chairman of the local Links should get a wife. I said that he should get a life. Or a job. Or anything to stop him banging on about the price of the tuna and cucumber rolls in the staff restaurant.
• And I didn’t mean to say the local GP cluster couldn’t commission its way out of a paper bag, had massive conflicts of interests and was beset with personality clashes. I meant to say that it had a challenging development agenda.

So that put the record straight. Time to reclarify the need for a bottle in front of me rather than a frontal lobotomy.