I have my doubts whether this period of political deflection, that is, reflection, will bring changes of any substance to the NHS reforms.

So we’ve finally got to the bottom of it. It is in fact that nice Dr Horton and his upmarket rag, which warned the end of the NHS was nigh, that’s running the gaff. 

Silly me, I should have known it all along. And if there is indeed a boil on the bum of this policy quagmire, then there is surly no man better placed to Lancet (ha ha!).

Well three cheers to you sir for bringing a period of political deflection, I mean reflection, to this roller-coaster ride on the La La express. 

And if we do follow the Swedes or Danes or Finns or whoever it was into a 30-year period of consultation on how to run our healthcare system, I hope that we at least come out of the other end with a decent smorgasbord.  I mean it’s all the North Sea, isn’t it?

So anyway, what should we be feeding into the Big Listen? A few ideas to get us going:

  • Take at face value HSJ’s outstanding April fool’s day rebranding pastiche. I got three quarters of the way through before I realised it was a joke. If you missed it I highly recommend it.
  • Appoint Tankie Dave as the secretary of state and La La chief operating officer. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…
  • No, hang on, appoint Stephen Dorrell as chief operating officer and make La La the vice chair of the select committee. It really is best served cold, sir, it really is.
  • Go through a period a discussion and consultation and produce a 10 year plan signed by all of the royal colleges and staff-side organisations and which addresses the key challenges facing the NHS.  No – it’ll never work.
  • Fight virus with virus and team up stormin’ Norman Tebbit and Ali G to sell the reforms through a health promotion based rap, “On Yer Bike”.

Or maybe we shouldn’t bother. 

I fear the worst.  As the great moustached man one said: “Sanity pause? There is and there will be no sanity pause.”