Picture the scene: NHS Ayrshire and Arran is putting together a press release about its healthy catering service. The cafe has won the “coveted” Healthyliving Award Plus with a menu that uses less salt, more fibre and healthier types of oil, scribble the communications officers.

The plaudits don’t stop there: the food is so amazing, “people are using it as a restaurant”, they add.

Then the conversation turns to ways to illustrate this shrine to low fat, balanced meals.

“A wee kid tucking into a piece of broccoli?” suggests a junior member of the press team. Cue puzzled expressions and shaking heads.

“An elderly lady trying a veggie curry?” he tries again. Sighs all round.

Then the comms director pipes up: “It’s obvious, what we need is a chubby bloke scoffing a big plate of chips.”

If walls could talk…