“Mark Britnell was last seen seeking asylum at the US Embassy…”

To: Don Wise

From: Paul Servant

Re: Arise Agrippa

The DH never saw it coming – old habits die hard. Last night David Nicholson launched a coup d’etat of the NHS. Under the cover of his retirement Maskirokva (old Soviet deception tactic!), forces loyal to Nicholson seized key command and control centres.

Overnight Local Area Team commandos swiftly moved in to nationalise the country’s Foundation Trusts. Their boards were rounded up and interned in the now empty parts of the old Birmingham University Hospital, whilst they await trial in the newly established revalidation courts.

McKinsey special forces were despatched to Canary Wharf where they surrounded the KPMG offices. After a short but bloody fight, opposition was routed. Mark Britnell was last seen seeking asylum at the US Embassy.

Meanwhile, crack troops from NHS England Policy Command, backed up by a platoon of Addison Lee limousines, sealed off Richmond House from the rest of Whitehall and were implementing a cubicle-by-cubicle search and destroy policy in the DH. It appears that Jeremy Hunt is in protective custody at the ADHD treatment centre of Birmingham Children’s Hospital.

There was tragedy at Monitor where more units of McKinsey Special Forces attempted to storm the regulator, but faced the Chinese wall defences rapidly erected by Monitor’s own McKinsey Special Forces. Ruthless and decisive action had to be taken and PWC irregulars were quickly procured to eliminate the lot and bury all traces of the embarrassing debacle under a new NHS 111 control centre.

Fearing counter-attack, CCGs were being formed into GRIP squads (Guardians of the Revolution In Progress) and had set up somewhat amateur, home guard type defences at the entrances to all NHS trusts. Meanwhile, CSUs (Counter Surveillance Units) are now positioned to provide performance monitoring and early warning of any threat to the revolution. CSU agents are operating undercover in all health communities running teams of informers.

The new regime has been renamed NHS GRIP.