Published: 01/12/2005 Volume 115 No. 5984 Page
To: Don Wise, chief executive
From: Paul Servant, assistant chief executive
Re: Christmas carols
Dear Don
Everyone is in the festive spirit and looking forward to your end-of-year speech from the balcony. There is much excitement about your inspired idea for a carol competition to create a new Christmas anthem for the trust. We have had to discard a few on grounds of inappropriateness, but you might want to e-mail them to friends.
To the tune of Rudloph the Red-nosed Reindeer:
Nigel the red-cheeked mandarin
Had some very shiny prose
But when Patricia saw it
She took quite a different pose
All of the PCTs squealed
And called Nigel lots of names
They moaned to their MPs
And the SHAs got all the blame
Then one gloomy conference day
Patricia came to say
PCTs we are sorry
But we’ll get you another way
Then all the SHAs glowered
At the cowering PCTs
And said ‘balance your books’
Or you’ll go down in misery
To the tune of Frosty the Snowman:
Crusty the old man
Didn’t feel very well today
But could he find a GP?
No because it was Sunday
Crusty the old man
Hobbled off to A&E
He was seen very quickly
But admitted to Care of the Elderly
The consultant said: What’s he doing in a bed?
Not breaching four hours said the nurse
But There is nothing wrong with him now
If he stays he’ll go home in a hearse
But the bed manager said
Discharge now is not the way
Anything less than 24 hours
And the PCTs do not like to pay.
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