‘I know the director of nursing was impressed that you poked her’

To: Don Wise, chief executive

From: Paul Servant, assistant chief executive

Re: Blockbusters

Dear Don,

I saw a cracking film at the weekend. This summer’s must-see thriller has to be The Darzi Ultimatum. It’s about a man with a killer instinct, who cannot remember who he is and hunts down and eliminates memories of the past.

It’s amazing how it keeps you on the edge of your seat while having no apparent plot. It’s the last in the trilogy following on from The Tomlinson Identity and The Turnberg Supremacy, which were fairly similar. I can’t see where it’ll go from here, but when you’ve got a formula that works, it looks quite easy to pump out a new one every few years.

It’s been a great summer for films. The Doctor series of films saw a new release with Junior Doctor on the Dole picking up from where Doctor in the House and Doctor at Large left off. And we had a remake of that old favourite Seven Midwives for 7,000 Mothers.

We also had Die Hard 4 a couple of months back which told an explosive tale about a balding middle-aged man and online terrorists trying to control the world through a single IT system.

Also The X-Factor is back for a new season at a PCT near you. It’s a simple concept which is quite addictive. You perform in front of a panel of judges, who take various factors in to account. If you strike it right, and align your postcode with 18 weeks and financial performance, and put on a desperate enough show, they might refer you for hospital care.

Lastly, Facebook is the cultural phenomenon of the year which I see you’re getting the hang of. I know the director of nursing was impressed that you poked her. Thank you for accepting my friend request, and I’m sure you shouldn’t read anything into the SHA chair turning down yours.