The Death Star is bearing down on rebel trusts as it seeks to suck them into its pipeline

To: Don Wise

From: Paul Servant, assistant chief executive

Re: Out of this world

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away… the Prophet Nicholson had said the NHS was so big it could be seen from space, and at the Olympics opening ceremony it was. We had Mo Farrar’s tribute to Monitor as he won gold, with his now famous Monitorbot. And then we had Stoke Mandeville reminding us how it invented the Paralympics and sent it around the world five decades before anyone came up with NHS Global.

Is NHS Global the abandoned child of world class commissioning? Will we be selling our expertise in inventing healthcare bureaucracies with five-year lifespans around the world?  And surely, if we can be seen from space, then NHS Galactic should be our ambition? The DH replaced by the Empire of Health, with the Commissioning Board led by the Sith Dark Lord himself, Darth Nicholson, aided by Jabba the Hunt.

The Death Star has replaced the NHS Trust Development Authority and is now bearing down on rebel trusts as it seeks to suck them into its pipeline or vaporise them forever. But where are the Jedi? Princess Gerada seeks Obi Wan while Luke Burnhamwalker stills learns the ways of the force. C3QC is malfunctioning and bounty hunters are Circling.

Back on earth, we are entering a new era. La-La has gone back to Teletubby Land and we now live in the time of the Davids - Nicholson, Flory, Bennett. To run the NHS you need to be called David. It is a name of Hebrew origin meaning beloved, hmmmm. In this case methinks David has become Goliath. But how surreal, from La-La to Dada - defined on Wikipedia as an expression that appears to reject logic and embrace chaos and irrationality.

May the Force be with you.