Published: 12/05/2005, Volume II5, No. 5955 Page 45

Martha is assistant director of modernisation at a primary care trust.

At the end of a busy week, she collapses in front of her PC to e-mail Mary, a former colleague, who has escaped Down Under

Hi Mary

Life continues as usual - which is to say extremely weird. Last week all three kids were ill at the same time. The twins got through a whole bottle of Calpol in 24 hours, probably some kind of record.

Meanwhile, teenager is still trying to save the world. Her latest wheeze is going through the rubbish looking for items I should be recycling. She should have her own TV show. Rubbish makeovers are the only thing untouched by Trinny, Susanna, Jamie and co.

Anyway, life is a breeze compared to the day job. We have finally hit Passion Month; in much the same way the Titanic hit the iceberg. For weeks We have been wondering what Roger, our head of modernisation, had in mind. And now we know. Sadly, It is nothing to do with setting up a dating agency to find soulmates for vivacious brunette mothers-of-three. The idea is to 'restore our psychic energy' and 'rediscover the real meaning of our work'.

Day One began as it meant to go on - badly. Rog was wearing his purple shirt, the colour of excitement for the Gingery One since getting all loved up with new flame Helga. Love has certainly boosted his energy: overnight he had entirely redecorated the office. Now, not only is it desk-free, it is also painted a dodgy shade of turquoise, to represent the colour of the universe.

'Passion', announced Roger, handing each of us a sheet of paper. 'We were all born with it, so how come we lose it along the way?' 'Come again?' said Jenny, Roger's deputy. 'You'll find the answer in your personal quotation. I want you to respond to this by the end of the week, ' said Rog, doing an alarming smile thing.

Careful not to catch Jenny's eye, I read my personal quote: 'We do not stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.' A quote from a man, of course: George Bernard Shaw. 'Bet you're feeling more passionate already, are not you?' said Rog. I'll leave you to imagine what sort of passion inflamed me at that moment.

Love Martha

Next week: Cryptic cross words