News from the Healthcare Commission that one in four hospitals is not hitting hygiene targets was about as welcome as a dose of MRSA.
The Mirror, DailyMail, TheGuardian and TheIndependent all used variations on the F word (no, not that one, but fail/failing/failure).
The other big story of the week was top-ups and whether patients can combine NHS and private sector treatment, especially in cancer care. The debate rages on, with both The Sunday Times and Financial Times predicting a government U-turn is imminent.
On a brighter note, the Mirror unearthed the first baby born in the NHS. Well, not literally unearthed, as Aneira (named by the midwives after Aneurin Bevan) is still alive, living in the valleys in Wales where she was born and looking forward to her 60th.
Elsewhere, the tabloids went to town on another baby story. Clare Bowker was at Good Hope Hospital in Birmingham with her baby in 2005 during an emergency simulation.
Unawares, she got swept up in the whole thing and ended up being quizzed by police, who accused her of kidnapping her own baby. She has just received a "five figure sum" for the emotional damage.
The final baby story goes to Baroness Young, chair of the new Care Quality Commission, now mired in Lords amendments demanding separate directors for health and social care.
She told the FT: "When I got this job I felt at times that I was the only person who loved this organisation - I felt like a mother whose kid is plug-ugly.
"But people are beginning to realise there is some added value to it." Hmm. So, ugly duckling grows up to have some added value. Doesn't sound like a fairytale ending to us.