When a celebrity ventures into the inhospitable terrain of public health, the results tend to be predictably cringe-inducing.
Last week, media chef and serial glutton for punishment Jamie Oliver set off to Rotherham, which gained notoriety as the place where mums pushed fast food through the school gates so their children could avoid healthy meals.
His mission for Channel 4 was to persuade the town's parents of the value of healthy eating, but according to The Sunday Times instead he "enraged Rotherham for portraying it as full of numpties".
When Mr Oliver lectured 5,000 fans at Rotherham United football club, the paper continues, they drowned him out with chants of "Who ate all the pies?", a salutary message for primary care trusts embarking on obesity social marketing campaigns.
It's not just the people of Rotherham who are missing out on public health advice. According to a survey reported in The Times, long hours and stress are "driving increasing numbers of lawyers to drink and drugs". The survey finds evidence of "cocaine clubs" in legal firms' basements, but suggests law firms are "ignorant or indifferent to the problem".
The Daily Express heralds a new and timely ailment, "recession stress". A rise in absenteeism has been attributed to the condition, which has the stamp of authenticity, having been "recognised by doctors".
"Health experts say it is caused by repeatedly watching and hearing about the global crisis," the paper reveals.