To: Don Wise, chief executive

From: Paul Servant, assistant chief executive

Re: blogs and Zogs

Dear Don

It pays to look up to David Nicholson every now and again. Not too often, mind, or he gets a bit narky. The NHS is a bit like China or a corner shop in that respect: you're meant to know the answer already, so don't ask as "refusal sometimes offends", aka "don't look up look out" (DLULO). So to avoid unnecessarily bothering Dave with tedious questions about how to run the place, I catch a quick glimpse of The Week. This is Dave's weekly blog and his equivalent of Mao's Little Red Book , except this one keeps growing. Don't look up or you'll miss it.

The Week is full of useful little titbits. I was particularly impressed with issue 33 (15-21 February 2008), with its advice on how to reach 48-hour access to sexual health clinics - not just round-the-clock access, but twice round it! It talks about "the final push for achievement" and "sustaining it", which sounds to me like what causes patients to need a referral in the first place.

The Week is also an excellent way of catching the stable doors being bolted in the new DLULO NHS. I can't imagine what inspired the consultation on suspending chairs and non-executives from office in January (issue 29) or the 84-page Simplification Plan Year Two (issue 25), which supersedes the original 49-page Simplification Plan, which was obviously too simple.

Still, you can get carried away with all this DLULO blogging. Much more important matters are afoot. I've just seen an intergalactic Volvo arrive in the car park, from which is stepping a humanoid who resembles the love child of Mr Bean. Yes, the auditor has arrived from planet Zog to deliver his own brand of looking down. ALE we love you!