If NHS England had promoted care.data with the same gusto it advertised its own Expo in Manchester this week, it may well have avoided the unwelcome jaunt-up-poo-creak-sans-paddle-come-stool-storm it’s currently navigating.

Care.data, which involves the laudable but tricky task of joining up patients’ health records without breaching their privacy, was advertised by shoving a shoddy leaflet through a few letterboxes.

The Expo meanwhile has been promoted by countless press releases over what feels like YEARS.

Anyway our rank indifference about the conference quickly turned to unbridled joy when news broke that jazz bassist Tim Kelsey, who also works for NHS England, would be flexing his musical chops at an exclusive gig on the Monday night of the conference.

NHS England’s national director for patients and information will be playing with the Betting on Trains Jazz Band at Revolucion de Cuba on Monday night (no plebs allowed, invite only).

But we fear Mr Kelsey’s improvisation skills could be a tad rusty if his appearance at the health select committee last week to defend NHS England’s botch job of promoting the care.data is anything to go by.

Unkind souls may suggest Mr Kelsey parped out a few bum notes, not least his assertion data collected under care.data would “not leave the UK”.

The Expo soiree’s invite also reveals lucky attendees will also be entertained by a “world class magician”.  Presumably his party trick is stopping datasets being transferred over international borders. Now that really would be world class.