To: Don Wise, chief executive

To: Don Wise, chief executive
From: Paul Servant, assistant chief executive
Re: Party Games

Dear Don

We are delighted to have you back from your gruelling study tour of Singapore, Sydney, Honolulu, San Francisco and Biarritz. You picked a quiet time to be away as there is no-one in a leadership position in the local health economy who is not acting, interim, shadow or packing. Needless to say, decisions have been thin on the ground and are still waiting to be randomly plucked out of thin air.

But it’s back to business now, and we have prepared a quick update on the latest thinking of the three political parties before you pop off to their conferences on behalf of the Non-Foundation-Trust-Still-Just-As-Good Network.

The Labour Party believes that ‘improving care for patients and improving value for patients and the public too is how we safeguard the values of the NHS for another generation’.

‘We are making the changes because we believe they will help make life better for patients and the public…for choice to be real… I also know that it is first-rate managers who make first-rate care possible.’
P. Hewitt, 16 June 2006

The Conservative Party believes in ‘an NHS which is available to all, based on need not ability to pay, free at the point of service, funded out of taxation’.

‘The National Health Service needs to provide equitable access across the country, access to healthcare services, of a high quality? Choice also must be real ?Leadership within the NHS will have a chance to flourish as it should. Managers will be valued for their performance.’
A. Lansley, 16 June 2006

The Liberal Democrats believe that ‘alcoholism, bisexuality and copraphilia are key factors in poor leadership and that Monitor should urgently develop a robust assessment tool for sniffing them out’.

‘In the meantime, NICE should evaluate the benefits of everyone holding hands and singing Kumbaya.’
W. Anchor, 2 March 2006