Following the recent outrage, what do you think will be the implications for the NHS ?

Cpl Jones, Walmington-on-sea

Well, we live in sad times. I remember sitting in front of the TV when it all happened. How the Tories could elect an ex-army skinhead over that jolly Mr Clarke defeats me. But we must be strong in the face of adversity and make sure these right-wing fundamentalists are never allowed to threaten our great health service again. The best way to do this is to create a national coalition against the threat. The new star-ratings are the first step in doing this and perhaps we might need to change the voting system to ensure that the unstoppable power of the New Democracy and the Pax Milburnia triumph. Mind you, this is a multi-dimensional challenge, and we must react on a broad front using all the measures at our disposal. In particular, we should seek help from the Institute of Healthcare Management, the King's Fund, Unison and the Bow Group. Yes, I know these are the sort of organisations with which we normally wouldn't associate, but there is a widespread revulsion at Tory actions, and support is forthcoming from the most unexpected quarters. Finally, we must airdrop psychotherapists into Smith Square to show these extremists that we can also extend the hand of friendship. I would go myself if it wasn't for my gammy knee and not being a member of the Carlton Club. . .

I work for a private hospital which has just been taken over by the NHS. Have you any advice for me?

Worried, Harley Street

Yes, indeed! Look to your laurels. One of the problems with being public-ised is that the NHS will make its money by working staff harder and paying them less.

As everyone knows, the NHS has been doing this for years, and all that is happening now is that moneygrabbing trusts are cherry-picking the private sector, taking the best bits but not bothering with those expensive bits upon which we all depend like. . . er. . .

Tesco. The NHS really has the cards stacked in its favour: it doesn't worry about TUPE, doesn't pay VAT and can borrow money from the government for nothing. What's more, it cuts corners with things like maintenance and cleaning. I think I've got that right.