Published: 14/04/2005, Volume II5, No. 5951 Page 37

Martha is assistant director of modernisation at a primary care trust. At the end of a busy week, she collapses in front of her PC to e-mail Mary, a former colleague, who has escaped Down Under

Dear Mary, Hope you're thinking of me while I wrestle with all that is new and sexy in UK office land - apart from a new boyfriend that is. Chance would be a fine thing. I feel about as lean, mean and gorgeous as Nora Batty after a Sugar Puffs binge.

Our mission to make head of modernisation Roger a happy and fulfilled boss has met with unprecedented success now that we have no desks or chairs in our office (I think he may need medication to calm him down). It is totally scary and has unleashed in him the unfettered and dangerous desire to be modern.

His latest idea is Creativity Week - brilliant ideas by Monday. 'Oh, spare me that one, ' said his deputy Jenny, when she read his e-mail (face-to-face is just so last year in Roger's lexicon of office skills). 'The only thing I hate more than 'creativity', which usually means having a really, really stupid idea that everyone has to be nice about for a couple of months, is 'passion', which means talking complete drivel about something really, really boring until It is time to go home each day.' Unfortunately, Roger caught some of this. 'Jenny, thank you, ' he said, getting the wrong end of the stick as usual. 'I was trying to think how to follow up Creativity Week - and That is it! Passion Month. Watch this space.' After he whistled his way back to his office (think it was something by The Streets - this modern thing is getting out of hand), we let out a team groan.

Even droopy Trudy joined in.

So here I am at 2am trying to come up with one 'completely innovative suggestion' for our breakfast meeting at 8am (yes, newly happy Roger has rediscovered his passion for apricot croissants). So far, all I've got is 'remove carpets?', applying the less-iseverything theory Rog is so keen on.

But I think he might want it to be something to do with how we organise the PCT, which seems to work perfectly well the way it is.

Love Martha

Next week: Can Angelina Jolie park?