Published: 28/07/2005, Volume II5, No. 5966 Page 35
Martha is assistant director of modernisation at a primary care trust.
At the end of a busy week, she collapses in front of her PC to e-mail Mary, a former colleague, who has escaped Down Under
Glad to report I am finally able to sit down, stand up and generally move about again! I thought I was never going to be the same again after our Outward Bound weekend. Which has to be good news - it was embarrassing lying down next to my PC at work, like some sort of Roman empress.
Even better, my new best friend Kevin the osteopath has said he'll come into our office and tell Rog, our mighty head of modernisation, that having no desks is an ergonomic nightmare. So we might be able to get back to normal. But I am getting ahead of myself.
I've always been a bit sceptical about alternative medicine but now I am a complete convert. And the moment I set eyes on Kevin the osteopath, I knew I was on to a good thing. He looks like a prop forward but with a totally gorgeous smile. With a totally gorgeous everything. Including girlfriend, smiling up from the silver-framed photo on his desk. She's a yoga teacher and PhD student, as well.
'I must say, you're in remarkable shape for... how old did you say you were?' He was smiling away as he leant on top of me, like an incredibly hunky steam iron. I hadn't said. 'Thirty-five, ' I squeaked, deciding to shave off just a couple of years. 'I have people 10 years younger than that who would envy your muscle tone, ' he said, admiringly. 'Very similar to my partner in many ways. You must be doing something right.' Phew. Must I? The temptation to do something wrong is overpowering.
'It would be really useful if you came along to look at our office, ' I said, still flattered. 'I do not think working at floor level has helped much.' I do not quite trust my motives in inviting him along to inspect my working conditions. 'I would be delighted, ' he said. 'I am a qualified ergonomist, you know.' That will impress Rog: he's a big fan of qualifications. It certainly impresses me - oh dear! I am turning into Teenager.
Must be the change. Anyway, it'll be good to have my desk back... Love Martha
Next week: The 'Humble High' revealed