Monitor has spent a happy week perusing the very best of those magazines which try to educate people of a ladylike persuasion on matters of health and beauty. Of course, beauty comes from within, as Mrs Monitor constantly reminds, while poking fondly at Monitor's cuddly exterior. Nonetheless, in the current climate of openness and information-sharing, Monitor, with the support of the Department of Health (that is, it didn't tell us not to, though to be fair we didn't exactly ask it) has decided to provide a guide to this week's ladymags so that you can make sure your wives are reading the right sort of thing. (NB note to Ed: can we say this these days? ) This is not a league table, mind, and just because Monitor has listed Woman as no. 1 magazine does not denote any kind of ranking system. And Woman's edition of 15 January has it all: 'Exclusive! Tony Blair reveals his HEALTH worries, ' shouts the mag. 'My house fell down then I went into Labour!' the man at Number Ten apparently explains.
Blimey! Monitor pricked up his ears at the thought that a matter of masonry was the spur to Tony's political career. Unfortunately, the article went on to explain that 'Dawn and Jez [do not people have proper names any more? ] were well-prepared for the birth of their third child. They just were not ready for the dramatic events that came first. . .' And a great read it was, too. On the next page, a rather more mundane article provided a mouthpiece for Monitor's fave prime minister. Bizarrely, in the 'exclusive' our leader reveals his yen for osteopathy in much the same phrases that he shared with The Times on 6 January and which were indeed borrowed by Monitor last week. But There is more.
Mr Blair - Tony to you - explains that there is 'no magic solution' to the NHS's problems.
So put away your Harry Potter books, readers! Tone is also pictured reading an earlier edition of Woman in which Sonia from EastEnders gives up her baby. Mr Blair uses his high-profile interview to tell woman people of the world: 'I think It is important that people do not despair.' Monitor would also like to take this chance to urge all readers to think of the glass as half full!