Life is a roller coaster, as Monitor's fave pop star, Ronan Keating, crooned so recently.

But if you think your head is spinning imagine how one Pat Jackson feels. The Community Practitioners' and Health Visitors' Association was quick to respond to news that best brownie Yvette Cooper would be telling young girls that it was 'okay to be a virgin'. A CPHVA press release by Ms Jackson, professional officer for school nursing and public health, branded the exercise 'a waste of money'.

What's more, CHPHVA suggested that while the campaign was urging girls to hang on to their virginity, boys were being urged to use condoms. 'There appears to be confusion here and this proposal could be construed as sexist.' Confusion? Sexism? Surely something else. If the girls aren't doing it, who could the boys do it with, ponders a rather more open-minded Monitor.

But just hours later the CPHVA sent out a second press release, this time gushing with enthusiasm. They welcomed an initiative 'based on detailed research which is linked into the advertising campaign'.

Monitor worries. Largely about doctors. Over-worked and under-paid, at least compared to extremely rich people running multi-million pound corporations. Nonetheless, who could dispute the ever-increasing demands forced on them by the burgeoning primary care agenda. Surprising then, to hear news in from the first audience survey of new TV station the Medical Channel. Apparently, all doctors polled planned to maintain or increase their level of viewing. More telly for docs! Monitor is intrigued. Are NHS managers also planning to increase their dedicated telly-watching hours? If you get an NHS circular ordering weekly viewing of Casualty and sister soap Holby City, remember please: you heard it here first.

Finally, news from the soaraway Sun: 'Barmy health chiefs told people who fall into COMA to ring 999.' The 'crazy' advice was sent to 100,000 families in a leaflet campaign following the downgrading of A&E services at Kidderminster Hospital in Worcestershire.

One opponent of the Kidderminster cuts asked: 'How is someone unconscious supposed to ring 999?'