There is nothing, believe me, nothing, that Monitor loves more than an eagle-eyed reader. It is for you that a vast team of dedicated (if slow-witted) reporters and sub-editors toil, patiently painting in commas and apostrophes to meet your grudging approval. But reader, no-one is perfect, as Monitor once learnt to his own cost.
Thank the Lord, then, for Mr JG Hetherington, cost accountant for Redbridge Health Care trust, who kindly passed on a hand-corrected version of the contents page of HSJ from 8 September. Monitor would like to offer endless apologies for the act of incompetence, nay madness, which infected the page. HSJ asked: 'Who are health authorities consulting over planning?' when clearly the word we were after was 'whom'. Modern young subs mumbling: 'Oi, mate, that went out with the ark' between bouts of cocaine abuse are of little consequence: Monitor and Mr JG Hetherington see eye to eye. It must surely be in an attempt to make amends that the sloppy bunch of sub-editors offered this list of amusements for the delectation of our sharp-eyed reader. So here you are Mr JG Hetherington: ways to get out more.
Meanwhile, the very same team has been having literally minutes of fun finding puns on the name of our brand new leader, Monsieur Crisp. You should see how they chortle at the prospect of links between NHS management and savoury snacks. So, how pleased Monitor was to learn that John BACON, London region's director of finance and performance management, looks to be in with a chance to get Crisp's old job. Crisp, Bacon, Bacon, Crisp. It may be just the one joke, but boy, it's tasty. Still, what's in a name? A rose is a rose by any other name, though our Nigel is not a rose, nor indeed 'much of a looker' as Mrs Monitor less generously frames it. Monitor feels the need to leap to Mr Crisp's defence. There's nothing wrong with being boring. Not that anyone has called him boring. He's just a bit strategic, that's all.
Or perhaps Nige is a rose after all - a check through the plethora (well, there are at least three) of pictures used to illustrate his appointment show some chameleon-like qualities. Monitor wonders whether Mr Crisp's appointment is the start of the government's traffic lighting scheme: our Nige changes colour and, indeed, hair-do, at the drop of a hat or the sight of a camera, as our happy photo spread reveals.