Just as your mind was beginning to make up that long list of well-intentioned new year's resolutions - get out more, take up jogging, run the marathon; damn it, get fit somehow - along comes the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine to make you think twice before you've even started. In the latest edition of said journal, two young scamps, Drs Sarah Anderson and Chris Johnson, present a chilling picture of what we once thought of as innocent, healthy recreation. 'Leisure pastimes are never completely safe, ' they warn ominously. What on earth can they mean? They go on to reveal that we have a greater chance of death or injury at a scout camp or rock festival or on a long-distance run than while at a drug-addled trance-inducing 'rave'. Surely such innocent diversions as knot-tying and woggle-watching can't be more dangerous than taking drugs that can lead to dance-induced dehydration and death? But hold on. The good doctors have statistics from the British Medical Journal no less, quoting 'a medical incident rate' of 9 per 1,000 people at a 'rave', 10 per 1,000 at scout camp, 17 per 1,000 at a rock festival and 28 per 1,000 running a marathon. Monitor will never sing Ging Gang Goolie again.

That's not to say that Monitor is not averse to trying out new things. Take feng shui - the ancient art of furniture positioning. Those NICE folks recently invited conference-goers to a session on how to feng shui your office. Monitor signed up and found himself bent over in front of a complete stranger having his back pummelled. 'We're doing the body before the office, ' it was explained. Still, Monitor felt much happier when the session leader said that in trying to raise energy levels, 'sex is better than coffee' (take note, caterers for those vigorous King's Fund breakfast discussions). But then it was gnomic utterance time. 'What is blue to one person is not blue to another, ' was almost fathomable, but 'Metal is the mother of water'? Please. Ancient wisdom seemed on surer ground when it warned of the need to 'protect your back'. Indeed. Apparently, a small picture of a mountain stuck to the back of your chair helps enormously. Failing that, 'get a mirror so you can check your back'.

And to liven up your workplace, pictures of something inspiring work wonders - expect photos of our own dear leader Alan Milburn to be the 'must-have' Xmas gift among managers this year.