It is week two of the Save Bart's Apostrophe Campaign, and already at least one message of support has poured in. As you may recall, having taken the Royal out of London and the Saint out of Bartholomew, the trust has now re-fashioned itself Barts (sic) and the London trust. The Save Bart's Campaign has not yet returned Monitor's call - though its answerphone reveals it now goes under twin identities as the Bart's Patients' Support Group and Bart's Hearts (good thing the hospital is being redesignated as a cardiac centre rather than, say, a genito-urinary clinic - Bart's Bits doesn't conjure up the same image).
But London Health Emergency campaigns director Geoff Martin says: 'We are 100 per cent on board with this one. Bart has lost enough. How much more is he expected to give up?' Well said, sir.
In the meantime, Monitor's deep knowledge of hagiography comes in helpful at this point in drawing readers' attention to the similarity between the Bart's board and the first century King Astyages of Greater Armenia, and to the truth of Geoff Martin's assertion that Bart has lost enough. For it was Astyages who flayed St Bartholomew alive and then cut his head off. Confusingly, Monitor's sources claim that St Bartholomew may have been one and the same person as St Nathaniel.
So we could be campaigning to Save Nat's Apostrophe.
No such confusion at Wolverhampton Health Care trust which, although it has no apostrophe to lose, had certainly mislaid all knowledge of the time capsule recently found at West Park Hospital, and would like to find out what became of the people then running the hospital. It's no wonder all knowledge of their fate has been lost in the mists of time. After all, the capsule does date all the way back to. . .1982.
And finally, the good people of the West Midlands may have stumped up£1,000 for the Dudley Cancer Support Group and Russells Hall Hospital at a recent charity auction. But they can kiss good-bye to any idea of government goodwill. As the Birmingham Post reports: 'One of Cherie Blair's stylish suits went for only£75. . .' She probably paid more than that to have it dry-cleaned.