It's the Patients Association wot tells it how it is, apparently. Or at least, Monitor assumes, the organisation led by novelist and agony aunt Claire Rayner was aiming to reflect the language of the street when it put out a press release about a conference encouraging people to make better use of local chemists. The following sentences were particularly eye-catching: 'The main aim of the conference is to listen to the public as to what they think and expect of local chemists... Earlier in June, the Patients Association had conducted research on this subject which found out that while patients held in high esteem the role of their local pharmacists, a large number of them was reluctant in consulting them for diagnosis.' Well said.

Yvonne Moores' husband may no longer be leader of the Labour Party, but she still manages to maintain a high profile as Labour MEP for South Wales East. Has anyone noticed the uncanny resemblance between her and the Department of Health's very own chief nursing officer, Glenys Kinnock? Could the two be related?

Wow, man. Far out. The key to really, really good management is to get out of yourself and start exploring other worlds. A survey by this really groovy company called Harvest set out these 25 characteristic definitions of leadership for NHS chief executives, and 'awareness of other worlds' is right up there at number five. It says this is an 'appreciation of the need to step outside our own world at times to seek out new and better ways' and how to 'use perspective of other worlds to reframe and create vision'. So just go for a quick trip to Venus, man, and all those niggling little winter pressures could just have, like, vanished. Or something.

An unidentified 'spokesman for health minister Frank Dobson' may just have come up with the perfect, all-purpose response to questions from pesky journalists. It was tried out on the Express last week, when the paper ran a piece suggesting the French (of all people) were thinking of outlawing sponsorship of sports by drinks companies. Who, Monitor wonders, did the little gem 'We know nothing about this' come from? One of the- hard working press officers in the Department of Health or one of Dobbo's political advisers?