So the rumours that Warwickshire health authority big cheese Mike Marchment is on the look-out for a new job are true. And was it to be closer to his Labour luvvie friends in the capital that he applied for the chief exec's job at Camden and Islington Community Health Services trust? Monitor is none the wiser after quizzing Mr M.

He admits he applied for the Camden job, saying it was 'one of the most interesting and challenging provider jobs in the country, unique even'. So he must really want it, then? Nope. He withdrew after deciding the purchasing agenda was just as exciting. So he'll stay in Warwickshire?

'I'm going to stay in purchasing, ' he says, mysteriously.

A round of applause for the NHS Confederation, which wants to celebrate the lives of 50 women who have made a 'significant contribution' to the NHS at its grand bash with the Institute of Health Services Management and the International Hospital Federation this summer. A book of their experiences is planned and five will be selected to feature in a video. Pre-publicity reveals that posters of these women will also adorn the walls of the exhibition centre at Earls Court. But has the Confed thought it through? A front-runner for the title of 'the woman who has most influenced the health service in recent years' must surely be now Baroness Thatcher. Monitor would also like to propose old favourite Golden Virginia, Barbara Castle, Barbara Windsor and. . . Ray Rowden as suitable pin-ups.

Monitor is pleased to see that its very own Lord Hunt is still keeping the wolf from the door. The ex-Confed chief has recently added Harrogate Public Centre Management Centre Ltd to his extensive portfolio of consultancies. Time to rename him Lord Hunt of Consultancy.

Speaking of nice little earners. The Mirror recently used the launch of an ITV comedy show about politicians as an excuse to pair off leading members of the Cabinet with their actor/comedian doubles. Buster Merryfield - aka Uncle Albert of Only Fools and Horses - was the spit and image of Dear Old Dobbo. But could the analogy be taken further? With his sharp suits, eye to the main chance and way with words, Monitor's favourite little spin doctor, Joe McCrea, is a dead-ringer for Del Boy. Who, though, is Rodney the Plonker?

PR oppos at Royal Wolverhampton Hospitals trust also have a way with words. Announcing the opening of a new department for minor surgery and urological investigations at New Cross Hospital, they issued a press release titled: Urology on Stream. But we really mustn't take the p***. Sorry.

Finally, in a gesture of solidarity with NHS press officers everywhere, Monitor has taken a strict vow of silence and will therefore offer no comment on the after-dinner speaker who will address next week's Association of Healthcare Communicators' conference. He is 'Peter Maloney, former Trappist monk. . .'