Loved the music at the launch of the new Health Quality Service last week. Nice bit of Henry Purcell. But does it augur well for the organisation's future? Some might think it a bit unfortunate to opt for something from Queen Mary's funeral music.

Mind you, you might have thought someone would have noticed the slightly unfortunate acronym arising from the proposal for a Forum of UK Accreditation Organisations - or, as the King's Fund's missive on the subject references it - Kfund/fuka804a.

Could a rapprochement between GPs and combative health minister Alan Milburn be on the cards? It may seem unlikely, but Monitor is intrigued to learn that Milburn chummily refers to British Medical Association GPs' leader John Chisholm as 'Chis'. And apparently the unflappable, bow-tied Dr Chisholm takes it all in good spirit.

With the launch of the National Institute of Clinical Excellence coming soon, Baroness Jay has been preparing the ground. But while happy to use the acronym NICE, she has - unlike everyone else - been assiduously avoiding calling its enforcer arm CHIMP. Proving, perhaps, that you can't make a monkey out of ministers?

Backroom boy Alan Duncan may not have been much good as the Peter Mandelson of the Tory Party while working for Conservative leader William Hague, but he was quick off the mark as Doris Karloff's deputy. Detecting a prime ministerial gaffe in a Tony Blair comment on waiting lists, he fired off a press release demanding to know: 'Whose job will go if the pledge is not met? Mr Dobson's or Mr Blair's?' Full marks for enthusiasm, Mr Duncan. Nought out of ten for plausibility.

Meanwhile, Labour activist Judith Chegwidden has joined the board of Pathfinder Mental Health Services trust. Helpfully, the trust provides a CV, listing her past and present political activities, including 12 years as 'counsellor for the London borough of Wandsworth'. Well, it's obviously an area with a lot of problems.

What is it about the NHS in Kent? First it gave us the now defunct Thameslink trust, confusing commuters in the south east who thought it was a railway line. Now a press release arrives from Invicta Community Care trust, boasting of its Investors in People award. Invicta? Sounds like a rival for Viagra.

Speaking of which, Monitor is intrigued by a story about spiritual healer Eugene O'Neil. When not busy channelling supernatural energies, reports Nursing Times, Mr O'Neil is a nurse specialising in erectile dysfunction. He explains how his healing works: 'My right hand starts to vibrate and I place it over the afflicted part of the body...' And do you know, it works almost every time.

And finally, the Daily Telegraph put its best man on the story about the health-giving properties of tomato ketchup. A reporter by the name of Berger.