World Cup fever has broken out down at Cathays Park where, despite the home side's failure to qualify, a Welsh Office spokesperson confesses it may take some time to get an answer to a technical query. 'I'll have to see if I can find a woman member of staff. Most of the men are a little distracted just now,' the spokesperson admits.

Still, those who have made the trip to France won't go unprotected, thanks to the Family Planning Association's handy phrase book. But while the French can certainly be a little aloof, surely the guide is a little over formal. By the time you get to 'Comment etait-il pour vous?' even the most genteel of Gallic lovers would probably have moved on to the more familiar tu form.

Always assuming, of course, that any of that sort of thing is going to go on. Important news arrives from the Media Medical Agency (well, you don't think Monitor just makes all this up) claiming that important new research reveals that the fans of losing football teams suffer a 20 per cent drop in testosterone levels. Good news there for FPA Scotland, then.

Back in the real world, it appears the Department of Health civil servant who now glorifies in the title 'rebuttal officer' may be the only one of their kind in all Whitehall. Tory MP Peter (husband of the more famous Virginia) Bottomley taxed prime minister Tony (husband of the better paid Cherie) Blair on the subject last week, only to be told that job titles were a matter for each department, but yes Dobbo did have such a minion. No doubt if this is wrong Mr or Ms Rebuttal will put us right.

Some exciting new jargon wings its way in Monitor's direction. Are you a marzipan manager? What do you mean you don't know? It's that rich seam of people just below the board who are, of course, the icing on the organisational cake. And no, it doesn't meet they are yellow and a bit nutty.

Filling in while delegates awaited the arrival of health minister Alan Milburn, the British Association of Medical Managers' chair, Peter Lees, recalled addressing a conference in Moscow. Desperate to empty his bladder before speaking, he had nipped back-stage, only to be confronted with two doors, each bearing a single Russian word. Seeing a woman emerge from one, he deduced which led to the men's toilet. Then, proud of his mastery of the language, he began his speech, confident that there would be no problem with the phrase 'ladies and gentlemen...' Only later did his host point out how unusual it was to begin: 'Washbasins and water closets...'

And finally, an apology from Lib Dem health spokesman Simon Hughes reached Monitor last week. After slamming Guy's and St Thomas's trust for 'inexcusably poor management' over the building of Thomas Guy House, Mr Hughes had to admit that the audit report said no such thing. Still, good to know there's no change needed to two of the original eight paragraphs of his press release.