'We are seeking a smoke-free facilitator (smoking cessation in NHS settings). The postholder will play a key part in piloting a practical tool kit to enable the delivery of effective smoking cessation interventions in the NHS.'
Congratulations to North West Anglia Healthcare trust for this finely worded job advertisement. Towards the end of last year, it won the trust a Plain English Campaign Golden Bull award in the 'most baffling public information' category.
And if you still have no idea what it all means, perhaps this footnote will help: 'North West Anglia Healthcare trust operates a no smoking policy.'
Easy to mock, you may say. And quite right, too. So what about the Department of Trade and Industry's bold assertion that '. . . the hours of non-hours work worked by a worker in a pay reference period shall be the total of the number of hours spent by him during the pay reference period in carrying out the duties required of him under his contract to do non-hours work'. Baffling.
It's not all public sector bull. Safeway is looking for an 'ambient replenishment controller' for a new store in Derbyshire. Are they better paid than shelf stackers? But nor is it all bad news. The campaign endorses documents written in plain English with the award of Crystal Marks.
NHS bodies which hold them include Central Manchester Healthcare trust, Lothian health board and York Health Services trust, some of which have linked websites of their own.
To win a Crystal Mark, your documents must have short sentences (15 to 20 words), and use active verbs and everyday language such as 'we' and 'you' rather than 'the applicant' or 'the recipient'.
And if you cannot manage that on your own, the Plain English Campaign will do it for you - at a cost.