Leveta Lawson was approaching 50 when she heard that North Bedfordshire Community Trust, where she worked, was to merge with the neighbouring trust.

'As always happens in these situations there was a lot of scurrying around and people started applying for jobs, ' she says.

'As the trust's child protection nurse it was expected that I would compete with my opposite number in the other trust for a new county-wide role. It would have meant a significant increase in workload and I thought: 'If I'm going to be working flat out I might as well be paid the salary to go with it.'

'So I decided to try for a job at region instead. I didn't get it and I really wasn't quite sure what to do. It's demoralising applying for jobs and not getting them and I just didn't feel like jumping through some more hoops.

'You have to be quite strong. A lot of people felt vulnerable and some of them were going for pretty much every job on offer. But I felt that wasn't for me - I was absolutely determined I was going to have an outcome that suited me. So I didn't apply for the new job, they appointed the other person, time passed and it all began to get a bit hairy.

'When I was finally called in it was the day of my 50th birthday and they said all they could offer me was redundancy. They were very fair - it was just the way things worked out.

'So I went on a pre-retirement course and that was really helpful. The thought of leaving my job was quite liberating in a way.

'I asked for a pension forecast and I must say I found it quite shocking. You really need to be paying in for 40 years, but when you do things like have a baby or take a year out it really makes a difference. My pension was enhanced by 10 years, but even so I can't afford to sit back and put my feet up. For one thing we have a nine-year-old daughter to support .

'So once I've finished my notice I'm hoping to be able to do something that will put back some of my experience into the NHS. I'm looking forward to the future, but I'm not saying I've got over all the scary stuff yet. I believe in what Charles Handy says - my life is simply taking a different direction.

'I'm quite pleased to be stepping out of what I was doing - you don't realise how tired you are until you have a chance to stop running round like a scalded cat. What I'm really looking forward to is having a bit of time to think.

'Five years ago my husband had a serious road accident and when something like that happens it really makes you reassess your priorities.

'I don't feel cynical, I feel very positive. There are some bad days, but mostly they're good days. It can be tough because when you're at work it defines you as a person. But leaving is like getting a second chance, so I guess I'm quite lucky in some respects. Of course there is an element of looking over your shoulder and thinking, 'Have I done the right thing?' I suppose I'll only really know after I've had a bit more time to reflect. And the pension cheque finally arrives.'