Julian Patterson
Julian Patterson has been chronicling the absurdity of life in and around the NHS on a weekly basis since 2009. He is best known as the creator of NHS Blithering, the country’s most challenged health economy.
Contact info
CommentA tribute to chair’s towering modesty
Blithering ICB chief executive Joy Hunter shares extracts from her diary – a privileged glimpse into the busy life of one of the NHS’s top leaders, as told to Julian Patterson
CommentTaking time to stop thinking about problems
Why is Sir Trevor Longstay keen to hold an all-day planning meeting? Why is he going out of his way to flatter the regional director? And will the ICB ever finish its stakeholder map? Julian Patterson has the answers
CommentMaking liars of us all
As the pledges of the new hospitals programme inevitably unravel, Julian Patterson wonders who will have the last laugh
CommentBlithering shafted
New CFO Simon Shaft delivers a financial bombshell - the NHS Blithering deficit appears to have been wiped out. Has Sir Trevor Longstay made a terrible mistake? Julian Patterson reports
Comment‘You Turn’ service to continue, vow NHS chiefs
Martin Plackard, chief strategy officer at NHS Blithering, has made an important correction after a plan to extend health services for practitioners was initially misunderstood. Julian Patterson has the details
CommentRating the CQC
In a week of turbulent regulatory news, no one can be bothered to rate the CQC and system inspections prove elusive. Julian Patterson pretends to care.
CommentA plan for all seasons
In a letter to staff at NHS Blithering ICB, Sir Trevor Longstay gives a warm welcome to NHS England’s timely planning guidance, which promises to make planning more comprehensive and productive than ever. As dictated to Julian Patterson
CommentVictoria Atkins: comedy genius
In a rare mea culpa, Julian Patterson acknowledges that he was wrong to make fun of the health and social care secretary. She is more than capable of managing without him
CommentVictoria Atkins’ diary: My big speech
The secretary of state for health and the other thing gives a major speech and narrowly avoids a man in a car park. Julian Patterson reports
CommentAre you a competent NHS leader? Take this test to find out
Who better to judge the ability of leaders than leaders themselves? Julian Patterson test drives the Blithering leadership and competency framework
CommentIntegration: the answer to everything
Martin Plackard, NHS Blithering’s director of communications and head of system fruition, has published a comprehensive guide to integrated care. ‘It tells you all you need to know – and more,’ he told Julian Patterson
CommentA positive lack of clarity
Technical problems prevented livestreaming of the latest meeting of the Blithering Integrated Care Board. Fortunately, Julian Patterson was there to capture highlights of the proceedings
CommentSaving the NHS: the Blithering Health Commission
The Blithering patient participation group, members of the integrated care board, experts by celebrity and the health and leisure editor of the Blithering Times & Argus have come together for a once-in-a-lunchtime conversation about the future of the NHS. Julian Patterson reports on the findings of the first Blithering Health ...
CommentWe must ‘hire before we fire’ declares ICB
Integrated care boards have been told to cut costs, but these things don’t do themselves. Taking a leaf out of the NHS England playbook, NHS Blithering explains that it is committed to taking on the additional resource needed to drive its rationalisation. By Julian Patterson
CommentPatient heal thyself: an affordable online guide from the NHS
As government policy makes self-care inevitable, Dr David Rummage has teamed up with fellow online professionals to bring you the best health advice the internet has to offer. By HSJ clickbait correspondent Julian Patterson
CommentAre you an improvement warrior?
Are you letting ‘work’ get in the way of meaningful improvement? Bev Heaver shares her tips for aspiring values-based leaders and chief storytellers
CommentOne minute to midnight in the ICB boardroom
With NHS Blithering ICB under imminent threat of attack by NHS England, Sir Trevor Longstay could go off at any moment. In a rare display of unity, the executive team works together to defuse the situation. Julian Patterson reports from the scene
CommentGoing beyond the achievable
It’s no coincidence that as A&E targets have got softer, performance has got worse. NHS England has a foolproof plan to turn things round, writes Julian Patterson
CommentThe 'two minute' NHSE director and other stories from 2024
It’s that time when all newspapers fill space with new year predictions. Not to be outdone, Julian Patterson imagines the headlines you can look forward to in the next 12 months