A funny thing (perhaps the only funny thing) happened in one of my recent blogs when the spell-checker changed my description of the DOH communications posse from 'pravdaesque' to 'pradaesque'.

A rather ironic metaphor for the transformation and decline of that once proud totalitarian nation into a cesspit of vulgar capitalism, don't you think?

Anyway, to make damn sure that this sort of thing doesn't happen again, I've been running a few other bits and pieces through the spell-checker. And I can tell you now that there's a fortune waiting to be made by the first geeky member of the IT department to come up with some synonym-blocking software.

For example, you type in "NHS Confederation CEO" and up comes "Nobody wants the job". Then you type in "world class commissioning" and up comes "figment of imagination". For Royal College you get "closed shop", for nurse you get "something that's not as good as it used to be" and for junior doctor "something that doesn't work as hard as it did when I was a boy". And there's really bad news for our corn-clipping chums, for no matter how may times you type in podiatrist, "chiropodist" keeps jumping back at you.

And for payment by results you get "oxymoron". Which is why we all wait with bated breath for the development of tariff and incentive system based on (i) clinical outcomes (ii) patient satisfaction and (iii) the sort of excellent patient pathways that would keep my blogger-in-arms Inside Out happy. Bring on the Next Stage Review, bring on High Quality Care For All, bring it on, bring it on, bring it on.

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